Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize