Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
