went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
