Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
