I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Found your dick twin last night
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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