You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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