it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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