So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
