Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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