The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I don't deserve a penis
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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