im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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