i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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