Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
What a dumb baby whore.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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