Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
