If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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