Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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