I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
