My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it glows. i had to have it.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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