My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
