I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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