i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize