I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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