Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
No subtext here. People are naked.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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