mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
