you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
