Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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