Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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