Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
