Already got asked if we're dating
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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