Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
