It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
