it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
