i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I will pee on everything he values.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
