The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Randomize
