What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
