That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Randomize
