wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
