Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize