Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize