good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
