Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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