Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
vagina is talking i cant
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Brb crying the tears of my youth
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize