it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
