Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
