Your dad touched me again.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
