I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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