East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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