the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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