i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
