Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
