Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
