Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
