Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
