I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
