I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
