Fine. I'll sleep in my office
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
