i was born a porn star she said
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
